Humour, Silliness, Jokes, whatever

Intelligent, eloquent, highly educated: we all know how wonderful the medical profession is. It must be just too much work, and too much to think about that occasionally results in doctors and nurses having trouble with their worms when filling in patients' medical records.

• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  
• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
  
• Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  
• She is numb from her toes down.
  
• Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot
  
• When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
  
• Whilst in Casualty she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  
• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
  
• I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
  
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  
• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  
• Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  
• Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  
• She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  
• He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.
  
• The patient refused an autopsy.
  
• The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.